Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Do You Want Me To Go Back To Work?

I'll be up front.  I knew when I asked this question that it likely wasn't fair and it felt kind of icky coming out of my mouth, but sometimes you have to give your kids a good dose of reality.

Mornings are hard.  Getting two kids ready for school 5 days a week is hard.  Making sure weather appropriate clothing is on their bodies, healthy lunches are in lunch boxes, hair is brushed, socks and shoes are on feet (bonus points if the socks match), backpacks are packed with snacks, lunches, homework, library books, etc...  I'm exhausted just writing this.  And heaven forbid if there are any adverse attitudes, overtired kids or the dog is running circles around the house - literally.  I teeter on the edge some mornings.

Today was actually going along nicely.  The kids got up on time.  No one woke up with the 'grumps' and we were plugging through our morning to do's quite nicely.

Then I made a mistake...

I asked Abby if a turkey, cheese and lettuce wrap was okay for lunch.

A volcano erupted.  Eyes were rolled, a body threw itself on the couch and let out a wail..  "I dooonnnn'tttt wwwwaannntttt tttuuurrrrrrkkkkeeeeyyyyy TTTTOOOODDDAAAAYYY!!!!!"

I asked her if another option was okay (I don't even recall what it was)..  More volcanic activity, more eye rolling and "you don't understand me, I don't want any of that for lunch".

Feeling a tad under appreciated I suggested she reply with "thanks mom for making healthy lunches for me and making sure I have clean clothes.  Thanks also for helping me with my homework and driving me all over the place for my activities and also coaching my soccer team.  THANKS MOM".

Another eye roll...

I then asked, and here it comes..  "Abby, do you want me to go back to work and have someone else do all of this for you?  If it's such a problem, then I'm happy to go back to work.  I'd like to be around people who appreciate me and say thank you once in a while".  Without skipping a beat, she asked if we could get our old  nanny back - OUCH.  I told her she could think about it while she was at school today and we would talk about it later.      

Emily piped in with "mom, I love spending time with you".  Emily has really high EQ and knows the right things to say at the right time.

Fast forward to after school..  Abby was in her room tackling the mess.  I poked my head in and asked if she had time to think about whether I should go back to work or not.  She looked at me with the sweetest smile and said "mom, I want to be with you, I enjoying spending time with you".  Ahh, there we have it.  Outside of the heat of the moment and after giving her time to think, it's what I think we both needed to hear.

**Note - Due to the guilt I was feeling, while the kids were at school I confirmed with a mental health professional friend of mine that it was a perfectly okay question for me to ask.  She told me it was perfectly okay.

Coming next - a sneak peek of some things I'm making for Soddie's Place.

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

I Thought I Had More Time

A few weeks ago both of my daughters went back to school.  Abby started 3rd grade and Emily started Kindergarten (having left her beloved preschool of 3 years).

Abby and I would hold hands while walking to her class.  This happened through 2nd and I was expecting to do this with Emily as well.

Today, I dropped them off at school and waited to walk Emily to her classroom.  Abby is a 3rd grader now and walking to class isn't allowed for me.  She's 8, I get it.  I still get a hug and a kiss so I'm happy with that.

Emily is in Kindergarten and I was looking forward to holding her hand and walking her to class.  The rest of the week she starts school later (9:35am, since the Kindergarteners has staggered starts).  On Wednesdays she lines up with everyone else.  

This is how it went down today.  I'm still recovering.

The kids line up on the playground and parents aren't allowed to be out there with them.  Abby walked Emily to her line to make sure she found it okay.

Emily's teacher walks the students to the classroom and passes by where I stand.  I saw Emily, smiled and reached out my hand.  She looked at me above her glasses, slightly embarrassed.  I asked her if I could walk her to class.  She shook her head no.  WHAT???  I asked again, still no.  I asked her again, asking her if she was really super duper sure.  Still NO!

Her teacher high-fived her for being such a big girl.  I was proud for her, but sad for me.  I love the feel of her little hand in mine and sending her on her day at the door of her classroom.

I'm going to go mourn the loss of this experience and celebrate her independence.